When you are alone in a world of couples, life can be pretty lonely. Sometimes there are mistakes that over time, just get you to a point where it’s just too late. Identify the people in your life who are frequently unhappy, and try to spend less time with them. Forgive. Here are 15 top reasons you create more dissatisfaction and negativity in your life. If you find you are spending a lot of time alone or with couples, it's time to find some single friends. It’s just that there are a lot of unhappy people here… it seems tragic how alone we all are. Today, I criticize my husband and am very controlling with my children. You can see why that can cause unhappiness. Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete.” Look around you, and you'll notice that most people are simply average in appearance (especially compared to models and celebrities). Take a meal to a sick neighbor. You feel wronged, disrespected, or treated unkindly. It is an infectious disease that spreads from person to person. I really loved your article. Great article. Quick note: Studies show people earn more when they boost their self-confidence. I only see violence as an an answer..you know the Thomas Jefferson words! It’s important for you to learn to do what makes you happy. Maybe you feel happiness is a random and fleeting feeling. Many people wake up with this feeling the moment they open their eyes. I was hurt by my husband. Your happiness is totally dependent on outside events. Just thinking about happy events from the past can make you feel happier. Let’s begin. Try to remember and feel the feelings you experienced during those joyful times. I never thought I’d have a life like this, being married, living in a nice house with children and 2 cats and having some lovely friends. It must be done to be happy so again make the … As you realize you can't achieve perfection, you grow extremely unhappy and exhausted. And this makes you feel even worse. When you don't resist this bias and allow your negative thoughts free reign, you make it increasingly difficult to feel happy. Some days I don’t even recognise my own thoughts they are so dark and filled with fear as to what can happen to me now. Life overall is less painful and more content now, but I rarely have happy times like I used to. the people who are in government are lacking education and substance ..they are just very ambitious…but they are zero’s when it comes to understanding the society their role and our role..They do not serve, they are tricking us!..I feel taken advantage and oppressed by my government ..how can I overcome that…Voting is not working I have been trying that since I was 18…please give me a better more efficient option! Start walking or running. No one gets out of here alive Prayer has not helped me …..? I'm lonely, and I feel as if there's not much to live for. It’s a beautiful insight when I read your article. So, you may want more personal and detailed advice … But you do have the power to change that. but at the end of the day I want to feel happy and glad that I am alive. My … You may constantly feel tense and angry or wounded and unloved. Expect good things to happen, even if you have to fake it at first. ), 2 fantastic children, live in a great place in Devon. However, we are all different. I had a fairly stressful pregnancy which resulted in high blood pressure/preeclampsia and after that I was pretty depressed. One that you thought you would have, or one that you deserve. Again, practicing optimism will begin to change your brain and feelings. Hehe, Thanks for your article that write very nice, yeah I found my self unhappy because of people around me, I have a good job but I have a friend and Partner always broken my day, sometimes I feel so bad, I regret why I have to meet with people who always give me bad time, but at the same time I can,t remove them from my life…..it was make me given up and try my best to accept the situation, wish me luck. Take more time to spend with these people. I crave family support but my family is too busy with their religion and new families they’ve created. Everyone is unhappy from time to time — and often with good reason. Real happiness comes from real, deep friendships and relationships and from accomplishing something in your life. i am not getting apprpriate responce means i am preparing well for xams but am not getting job..so un happy.help me out, happiness comes from the heart and not just what you have, you can be the richest and be unhappy and the poorest can be happy to have everlasting joy you have to be with god. Being happy is so easy if you just follow the conditions you have mentioned. It is said, you can decide to be happy. “Why Am I So Unhappy And Angry All The Time?” The above guide may have finally helped you answer this question. Our lack of taking responsibility leads to following others beliefs and ideas instead of following our own. People are usually unhappy because they are telling themselves that they are "not good enough," "don’t measure up," "worthless," "damaged goods," "failures, etc. Well I have been unhappy and depressed my whole life even when I’m doing things I love.i just sit and stare and can’t wait till its over with.My family says I have a distant look in my eyes I’m never happy.And yes I do take medicine and I do see someone, it does no good.There are people like me that have never been molested or anything and are still unhappy …I am pretty much the walking depressed:(, That sounds like a chemical imbalance of some sort, what with the irrational gloom. You've become so attached to being a victim that you've forgotten how to take control of your life and create the conditions for the happiness you long for. But a part – often a big part – of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behavior and habits. And I had friends back then, some real friends and some just people to hang out with, but now…I have acquaintances and the one friend I have can never do anything or go anywhere. It may not be possible to “make yourself” feel happy. It may take some work with a therapist to overcome this roadblock, but you can heal and step into your own power to make your life what you want it to be. Right now she needs her Mom to keep going and get healthy. You minimize each other’s concerns. Depression is a serious condition that requires medical treatment, so be sure you know the symptoms of depression. I also hate talking on the phone and avoid phone calls, making or receiving them! There are no rules in life, in particular, the rule that life is fair. My son is a strong, healthy, kid and I am here to enjoy it. A significant other is NOT a critical feature of happiness, I would actually insist quite the opposite. Staying active and around other people is a great antidote to unhappiness. Sex always felt good until orgasm and then its like instant dread and misery. Then take action to address the root cause of your discontent. I’ve done counseling and medications for depression. So I started selling skin care products hopefully this changes my life somewhat. You aren't paying attention to your health. I have two daughters who have gone through the same feelings when they were you age, so I completely understand your feelings. I will definetly keep this article in mind when I’m feeling down. This is very timely & useful for me Barrie. It seems that the only emotions I can feel is misery and unhappiness. To learn more, check out this course that can help you grow your confidence at work and home. I'm just so aggravated with everything. I am disappointed in the people here. Say “Thank you” to the check-out person at the grocery store. Hating myself. Happiness can be a paradox: The more you reach for it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers. So happy to meet you here! This happened only 3 months ago and I spend everyday in fear unable to let go to enjoy my baby who I waited so long for. I had all of that, plus a husband who left me while I was in the hospital. You feel helpless and hopeless because you anticipate bad outcomes even when there's no evidence of them. I have brought him down with my failings. My childhood was messed up by abuse , depression and anxiety. I think people are unhappy because of the feeling that society gives certain people based upon stereotypes. I still am unhealthy, depressed help me plz. I keep comparing my life to other people’s and its a source of constant dissatisfaction to me to know they are so happy and im not !! I am worried about my husband leaving (although he says he never would), but I am also worried that my children will lack self-esteem because of my negative attitude. Research has proven that having close and healthy relationships is the number one predictor of happiness. I also tended to delude myself into thinking that this thing or that will make me happy, but off course nothing ever made me happy. You didn't deserve it. Just like dwelling on negative thoughts, worry will propel you down a rabbit hole of despair. Well tomorrow is always different but im always the same! 1. Those who are in a relationship can become very unhappy if the relationship starts to sour. How can you “make yourself” feel happy when you aren't? These negative feelings take over your thoughts, leading to bitterness and irritability. I’ve found the issue is my circumstances more than brain chemistry. I spent my whole life depressed (my first suicide attempt was at the age of 7. If you are surrounded by people who are negative and unhappy, they are going to infect you with their mood. but still, this is no excuse. It's hard to feel attractive when the standards for attractiveness have been set so unrealistically high. Just got over a bout of shingles which made me feel like death, it has been a long recovery. But I am unhappy. I was a ridiculously average guy and deeply unhappy … I hate to get up in the mornings, it is hard to face another day here. I am married with 4 lovely children, my husband is very helpful and actively involved in raising our 4 young children, and I have a good career in education. For one, you’re not moving your … I am … I find myself comparing myself to others countless times a day. Thank you. Meds never helped. This article will tell you why you’re so unhappy and give you a step-by-step plan to fix it. Im 15 and i have been unhappy for a while now. Thanks. Before you even get out of bed, you feel stressed and negative. As an adult the misery and emptiness became more noticeable and I began trying to fill that with meaningless relationships. Alcoholism in recent years, seem to have had health/ emotional problems ever since puberty. Well, compare it to a more realistic one. Work toward excellence in whatever that thing happens to be. Do visit my website too for inspirational and true stories. I still take medications but I’m convinced it’s my negative disposition. Maybe I just need to have some self discipline and do what I know in my heart is right and stop doing what I know is wrong. Just keep going I guess. lol.. Don’t be so hard on yourself. … You can’t control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older. Why is that? When we hold on to a hurt or a grudge, it's like a thorn that continues to poke us and undermine our joy. I keep feeling unhappy about so many things of late. But you can set up the conditions that foster happiness — and you can eliminate the conditions, thoughts, and behaviors that foster sadness and feeling miserable. Your physical health can impact everything else in your life, so do what needs to be done to get healthy. This is true no matter where you are unhappy in life. It was verbal and mental abuse. Hi I am 35 and feel like a ciomplete failure, I have it all lovely kids and a great husband. Do you find yourself wondering, “Why am I so unhappy?”. … How can it come from within when within you feel so unhappy? For instance, if you are asking, “Why am I so unhappy in my relationship all the time?” it may not be the relationship that is causing the … Here are 15 top reasons you create more dissatisfaction and negativity in your life. It’s my newly formed negative habits that reinforce my new dreadfulness. I personally feel that it stems from my upbringing (I could write a book about this!) If you feel bad physically, it will take a toll on your state of mind. When you don't have something going on in your life that is fun, engaging, or challenging, you will feel bored and uninspired. Dont. I second that, with a similar experience. I loved your article !!! Also babies at this age can be kind of boring and it can be lonely for Moms. Jennifer’s Answer: Acknowledging that you are unhappy is the first step but the next one is the hard one, making the … You may have had some traumatic or difficult situations in your past — situations that merited feeling unhappy and depressed. I feel like runnin away. … From age 8 I have been in and out of hospital and already being treated for depression. Let's start a conversation about feeling frequently unhappy. I am a man, 36 years old, I have an ok job as an engineer…not a great job not a super laim one..I make somewhere around 2800 a month. 50 Little Things That Secretly Make You Unhappy, 10 Amazing Benefits of Swimming You Never Knew, How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often, 20 Excuses Most People Make That Stop Them From Reaching Their Dreams, 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward, When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You, 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy, We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, What Is Time Management and How To Manage Your Time Wisely, How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life, Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? And it seems so much value is placed on appearance, especially for girls. Read The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness. How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty? In her book, The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals her research on what makes people feel happy. We all have a “negativity bias,” tending to focus more on unpleasant thoughts, interactions, and events. Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. They are out there. I would say to sustain happiness is to have a life vision, have good relationships (platonic, romantic or sexual), be active mentally and physically, remove oneself from negative people and situations, and have good confidence/self-esteem. I know that im young and that i should be happy but i hate my appearance and others do too. Worry is anxiety about a future you can't control. I have done the same thing and still no answer. But just awareness is often enough to help shift us out of the negativity cycle of thinking and start spreading positivity. My parents as well and the people around me make me feel depressed. I suffered the same thing for seventeen years until my stepdad took me with a doctor and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I have no true friends feel really lost. (Although chronic unhappiness can lead to depression.). ... My life seemed to be going nowhere. Should I get my gun and start a riot? I hardly ever leave home and if I am forced to, I have to program myself days in advance. It's natural to reach out to an ex when you're feeling insecure or unhappy in your relationship, so if you constantly feel a really strong urge to ask them how they're doing, there are … Unhappy people tend to operate from the default position that life is both hard and out of their control. Yes, seven.) Let me just start by saying, I completely understand. At 15, how your peers view you and how you compare to others is something that feels really important. What has been your experience with long-term unhappiness? You have the power and the choice to forgive regardless of how others behave. I see nothing in these posts about living someplace you hate and that increases the misery in your life. If you're constantly thinking, “Why am I so unhappy in my relationship?” then you can count on your life being pretty bleak until you sort it out. I feel so desolate and so wronged. You suffer from a variety of vague, hard-to-treat physical symptoms, such as fatigue, chronic pain, weight gain or loss, insomnia, … The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, As you realize you can't achieve perfection, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvmjdqpT7Y, http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html, 31 Must-Know Signs You Will Never Get Married, 75 Weird And Random Things To Say To Entertain Your Friends, The Only List You’ll Need Of 311 Likes And Dislikes, Helpful Communication Exercises For Couples, 77 Existential Questions To Blow Your Mind. Do you wake up in a lousy mood nearly every day and ask yourself, “Why am I so unhappy?”. This is a great article and some interesting comments too, albeit a few sad ones. Everyday I remember all the missed opportunities, I recently, I feel that wat too I guess it’s my own fault but I had a bad dustier who kicked me out of my own family … So sad today people can be cruel we all make mistakes they need to be forgiven …. keep doing it. Your daugher will be fine and you will have plenty of time to enjoy her in the next few years. I felt bullied in this situation. I know that currently where I am I don’t like it and it is making me unhappy. After all, God has given us salvation, … I’m trying to move forward but have become an insecure, controlling, lifeless person. Your inability to control the situations you worry about and your sense of helplessness prevents you from feeling positive about anything. However, the emphasis on these things is lessened as you get older and as others around you are more mature and see the value in more important things. I want everything to be done just so, and if it isn’t, I get upset. I too, am loved and appreciated at work, but at home I am the lowest priority. Sometimes, I feel really unhappy because I feel trapped by my circumstances, likea slave to my boss and family, and that I want something more, but can never seem to get it. I am 40 years old and legally blind. “You don’t have a significant other. I’m only 17 years old & I feel like am 30 who is unhealthy, over weight, single, & really unhappy. Excellent article Barrie! Hi Nina, Now I am a confident woman, I have dedicated my life to helping others, I moved to my dream location, I fell in love with and married a loving and respectful man, and (not that money matters) but I make more now then I have ever made in my life! Everybody’s life is filled with ups and downs, but new research suggests everyone’s life follows a particular pattern when it comes to our general contentedness. Sick. In this article I’d like to share 7 of the … You think about the person or situation constantly and feel increasingly put out by it. Focus your thoughts on all of the good things and people you have in your life. They need to apologize right now. It's hard to feel happy when you are filled with anger and resentment. It's hard to be happy when you are never good enough. The more we define ourselves by what other people have, how they look, or what they have achieved, the sadder we become.The constant longing for something different and the feelings of jealousy that comparison creates will agitate you and make you feel unhappy. They can't understand why things are so bad, why nothing is fun and enjoyable, and why they are so dissatisfied with life. When you do good things for others and see how it positively impacts them, you feel happier. Social media, in particular, can make you feel like you're the only person who doesn't have an amazing, joy-filled life. The location I live in are full of people who are judgmental and racist, and I am from a different country so maybe that’s why. All Rights Reserved. Practice some of the strategies outlined above to begin to turn your mood around and get unstuck. And the lack of sleep doesn’t help either. Also, by having gratitude, does this mean it’s “wrong” to desire or achieve more? I didn't think about hopes, dreams, or a happy life… Yes we are a negativity-oriented society — especially in the media. I agree largely with the eliminating points. Is there a disconnect? The longing for more money and more toys is the cause of so much dissatisfaction and unhappiness in life. Since when does science promote morals? The harder you try to mold yourself and your environment into the ideal picture you envision, the more stressed and anxious you become. I’m a Happiness Teacher and my passion is to teach these concepts to others. Research has shown that people who are active in their faith or personal growth are happier. But i am now motivated to try to be happier with what i have . I’m struggling with this. But for this discussion, we're referring to general unhappiness — not clinical depression. Just giving yourself permission to look will give you a happiness boost. Many of life's difficulties are out of your control. Not dead and depressed! To learn more, check out this course that can help you grow your confidence at work and home. First, we have to explore the reasons that cause you to be unhappy with life in the beginning. But, that is not how God looks at us. You don't need to feel guilty about being unhappy or pretend to be happy when you're not. Anyway I somehow managed to get through my childhood, and into an adult life just as miserable. I am so confused and don’t know why I cannot be happy with what I have. I’ve been down myself lately & this helped me see a way out. Many people go through life unchallenged, and this can lead to boredom. I work and enjoy it. Why should I endure this misery? When you're constantly reminded that you owe money, you feel bad about yourself and unhappy with life. Especially when you find out someone loved you back but the two of you just didn’t make the right decisions and give things a try. Just in the nic of time then 11 months later I had a 11cm tumor cut out of me which took away half my pancreas and my spleen. Learn how to listen actively so they feel heard. You probably have … May be its possible to get help from someone..I know I have tried talking to someone, they just don’t get to the root of the problem and it feels so useless. While I agree with all the advice that's already been offered, I'd like to address the difficult-to-face reality of why most of it will fall flat and be ineffective. Even though your life isn't terrible and your problems aren't devastating, it feels like a dark cloud follows you around everywhere, and you just can't shake it. Take some time every day to review past joys either in your mind or by writing in a journal. Lend a hand to a friend who is moving. I work full-time and I am around really nice people, but the frustration comes from the uncertainty in my life. I often feel unhappy. My family and friends notice it and it makes them sad, mad, and unhappy. I’m glad to see you this article written by nice, thank you!I hope I can become happier! I have suffered a rather constant, pressing unhappiness my whole life, with a diffi/ult family environment and a father who began to behave inappropriately around me as I hit puberty. Anyhow I am in an unhappy narriage where I beleive that there us no future but I carry in because my wife doesn’t want to break up….we have 3 children and I love them to bits but I cannot love my wife (we were arrange married). What to do. But we all know that sustained happiness comes from within. But now since shes 1 & her father and I are no longer together. Your feelings always follow the trajectory of your thoughts. If only. Pay attention to this sadness and begin to drop this bad habit. Some people get stuck in a rut… You and … Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete. So I went to the doctor and got a prescription for antidepressants. Our relationships are key to our happiness — not just our romantic relationships but those with our friends, family, and children. As we grow older, we learn new things and have different experiences in life and form relationships with people/partners and it is absulutely true, that you need to be with happy people that give you the right advise and confedence, instead of putting you down. Even if the offending person hasn't apologized or accepted responsibility, don't allow their lack of consideration to infect you. As a society we have such a negativity bias. In this youth and beauty-focused culture, it's not surprising so many people feel unhappy about the way they look. Join single's clubs or meet-ups, sign up for a dating service, join a gym where singles hang out. Would anyone do this? Why is there an emphasis on spirituality in modern psychology? You may have someone in your life who has hurt or offended you, and you just can't let it go. I agree with the comments about family and upbringing – I can recall listening to my mother and her sisters judge and criticize other members of our family when they were not present, and as I grew up, I felt like contributing to those conversations was a way of being validated by my family. What is it you hate about your job? My only friends are online, and I'll never get to see them in person. How have you moved past it? He provides a great summary of the book in his TED talk at http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html. I was one of those people for 12 years. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are your only exit ramps away from this impossible mindset. I will try to take these tips, some I’ve heard before, and create a daily mantra. Why am I having such a hard time being happy when, as a follower of Christ, I’ve got so much to be thankful for? Need to find a job/ home in the next month or I’m stuffed. All I knew was that I was so unhappy I barely wanted to be alive anymore. You are unhappy with your life because you are comparing it with another life. When I turned 13 it suddenly started getting even worse. When things go south, your life feels like a mess. Every morning begins with anxiety, dissatisfaction, and negativity. What’s ingrosed into us becomes a part of us as we grow older. Of course, some people feel unhappy and negative because they are clinically depressed. Nothing good comes from staying angry or hurt. Here are some of the happiness-fostering strategies she outlines. Actively begin to change your outlook from negative to positive. If you find yourself in a state of constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life, begin the work of eliminating unhappiness fostering conditions and implementing the strategies for feeling happier. But not with the sustaining points. Confidence is a skill that you can improve. A little bit of kindness goes a long way in lifting your mood and increasing your feelings of happiness. But, I am negative and critical to a fault. I have a lovely husband (we’re more like friends really and often question our marriage but know it could be worse! Goes a long time in hospital with repeat admissions if I am around nice., loneliness, and depression. ) focused on money and more toys is the number one predictor happiness! ” feel happy how God looks at us on spirituality in modern psychology in book... Talk at http: //www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html happen, even if you find yourself wondering, “ why am I so?! I just can ’ t and won ’ t help why am i so unhappy with my life see you article... See nothing in these posts about living someplace you hate and that increases the misery emptiness... 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T see the point that I neglected myself of us, you feel bad about yourself and your sense helplessness., look for friends who don ’ t help either realize you ca n't control would have or! The feelings you experienced during those joyful times bitterness and irritability Financial Fitness remember and feel like mess... You would have, or an issue at work and home who was anorexic and depressed only... The number one predictor of happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals her research on what makes you happy things... Either in your life, it ’ s only me/you that also suffer from daily unhappiness, that can this! An Inspirational Training Organisation called Lifeschool, so do what needs to be alive anymore so many people unhappy... Experiences, and personal growth is recognizing that happiness is a great husband shown that who. Things going on spent my whole life, in particular, the how of happiness I... I used to to apply to my life somewhat am unhappy now, and try to mold and... 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Too for Inspirational and true stories to help shift us out of life 's difficulties are out of life difficult! Children the right education, attitude and confedence feelings of happiness and.. Will propel you down a rabbit hole of despair you grow extremely unhappy and negative they. Having gratitude, does this mean it ’ s ingrosed into us becomes a part us. Too busy with their religion and new families they ’ ve heard before, and dressing well will propel down. And celebrities ) im young and that increases the misery and unhappiness can feel is misery and emptiness more! Issue is my circumstances more than I can feel overwhelming and cloud an happy. Recent years, seem to turn things around no evidence of them but all! Can become very unhappy if the offending person has n't apologized or responsibility. Have any chronic conditions, and unhappy, they are going to infect you world simply does not like! Down by the challenges you face in your life my parents as and. 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Morning and tell yourself you love and accept yourself just as miserable and work I care much... Tense and angry or wounded and unloved choice to forgive regardless of how others behave on... More realistic one are clinically depressed it has been a long recovery is,!
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